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Another update on my grandmother.

I am at my mother's house right now for the 4th of July weekend and on her dinosaur of a computer. I went to see my grandparents who live right across the street. We were talking and somebody misunderstood the facts. The doctor said that he was 99% sure the tumor was not cancerous. They DID NOT have the results of the biopsy. He said he should have them after the holiday. Well, today while my grandmother went to the post office there was a phone call for her from a man calling her by her first name. *Everyone always calls her by her middle or nick name* He did not leave a message with my grandfather so when he told my grandmother, she automatically assumed it was the doctor with the results and that usually when they get results that quick it is usually bad news. So now she is convinced she has cancer. She does not even know if that was the doctor or not and now she is jumping to conclusions.

My mother manages a medical clinic and she tried to tell my grandmother that even if it was the doctor, that it doesn't necessarily mean that he was calling with bad news. He could have been calling to see how she was feeling (after all they did have to put her to sleep to do the biopsy), he could have called to see how the medication is doing for her , or something. It might not have even been him. But my grandmother would not listen. She is assuming the worst.

Alright, now I am angry! That is totally ridiculous. Over $33?! And the husband just ran off and left? I swear there ought to be stronger laws in this nation against dead beat dads. It is so unfair that the man can just run off and have all his fun with his tramps and the wife is stuck raising the children and going into poverty. If I sound passionate about this, I am. I thank God everyday for my family. If it were not for my grandparents, my mom and I would have been in that same situation as this lady 20 years ago. My dad just picked up and left with that pathetic excuse for a human being, whore, tramp whatever you want to call her. His 4th wife who he is now divorced from. Mom was his 3rd. He never paid child support. Finally, he got injured a few months before I graduated from High School and the District Attorny was able to get a freeze on his workman's compensation check and take all the back child support payments out. He was pissed. He called me up (first time I had heard from him in 3 years) yelling at me and saying that had he hung around I might have been a better person. Well, why didn't you hang around instead of screwing around on Mom you ass! It is not like I was going to go on some shopping spree. Like I said, I was about to graduate, that money was going to college.

Some of you might remember a couple of years ago when I asked for advice because after my grandmother died (his mom) he wanted me to call him. We did not speak at the funeral and that was the first time I had seen him in 13 years. Well, look at where he is now. He has a new wife now (she is at least wife #5 could me a higher #) that my aunt says is dumb as dirt. His family (sisters and brother) hate him. They told me that they would support me in any decision I made regarding him. His daughter (me ) will not have anything to do with him. And no one knows where his son is (my half brother - his child from wife #1 - just took off and has not been heard from since - James and I were never close). This is exactly what that man deserves.

I am sorry to get on that rant. The lady that Lady D is speaking of just brought back memories. I really hope that she can find help. From the way you talk Lady D it sounds like that your town is a lot like the one I grew up in. If so, there are probably no charities that can help her out. If not, is there a church or something. I know some of the churches in my hometown (population 400 ) will help people out.

The old money controls everything everywhere. Even the new money has control. Here in Dallas, especially the suburb I live in they are always looking down on you. I know that there are wealthy people who are good people. I have seen a few who are extremely generous.

I hate to break it to that man who ran off and left her and the father of your cousin's child, but they could very well always be liable for back child support payments. That is of courses depending on what the laws in your state are. I found this out in Mom's dealings with Dad. He never paid and so when I was about to graduate and I was 18, Mom called the DA's office and said "Just forget it. My daughter is 18 and I have not seen one penny from him." That is when she found out here in Texas, that even though the child in question turns 18 and is now legally an adult the father, or mother in some cases, is still liable for all payments missed prior to the child turning 18.

I know that some places require someone who is applying for a job to but down if they have to pay child support and it is take out of their paycheck. That is such a joke. How many people are going to put down they are skipping on child support so they are going to make it easy for the D.A. to find them. I think that the moment a judge hands down the set amount for payments that it should go on their record (like a police record) and the credit report. That way it will be harder to dodge the court. That is just my take.

The lady you are speaking of should at least to go the D.A.'s office and file papers on her husband. I doubt how much good it will do, but it is a start. I hope things work out for her.