So, for all us old Urbbies, remember this fun time!
For all the new Urbbies (especially Cinnamongirlx who I promised), have a great giggle
OMG - was it REALLY SIX YEARS AGO!!! I'm getting old.....
A!E JOURNAL ENTRY - NUMBER 1 (MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA)
23 December of the Year 2003 - Herein lies the account of A!E and his travels around the world.
FIRST STOP - Melbourne, Australia
WHAT IN THE NAME OF EORL JUST HAPPENED TO ME!!! I was told that my flight from Washington to Melbourne would take a week and that week turned into
weeks then into months. Damn - I was scratching the days into my cardboard box with my sword as they went by!!! Situation made worse by fact I forgot to
pack clean undies. And I was at sea! I'm not used to the sea!!! It's only for those damn pesky elves.
Situation made worse by finding out the date - it's now December and I've been told that I missed the ROTK Premiere in Wellington!!! CRAP!! Although, found out that the bloke playing me wasn't there. Apparently, he was in Europe playing some other bloke. Shhhheeeesh……
Never mind - I'm in Melbourne and a very relieved Bally was happy to see me. Well, maybe abit "too happy" to me. *Ahem* Was most impressed with HUGE statue Bally had made of me. Such an honour!! Although did she really have to make one of THAT elf as well?
Got taken on a quick tour of Melbourne.
Lovely city despite serious lack of horses. I miss Firefoot so MUCH. Only other option is kangaroo. Decided too bouncy! Settled instead for Bambi - a most royal steed if not a Kingly name!
Bally showed me around the Arts Centre where she works.
She even got me my own dressing room
Was most impressed but flatly refused to put on make-up. Most unmanly! Got to stand on stage and yell "Rohirrim!" and a few other
obscenities but considering what I've been through, I needed to let it all out. Very dramatic. Got to be real DRAMA KING!!!
Although I didn't get out of Melbourne, Bally did tell me all about Australia. Most excited to learn that Australia is a big wide brown land - very much like Rohan so felt very much at home. Also many beautiful blonde stable lasses about; confusing as I saw no stables??
Got to taste vegemite! Tastes like horse shit! Really!! But Bally said that too, so no offense was taken. But Tim Tams and meat pies are bloody marvellous! Must investigate possible trade routes, there must be a market for horse-encrusted decorations in Australia.
Overall, top place. May retire here but too soon to judge as this is only my first stop. Bally most insistent about this being my first and only stop. However this changed when she introduced me to some cuddly Australian animals and now I'm on the run from the Authorities - namely some bloke called Steve Irwin! It started out well enough. I got to cuddle two koalas.
Very cute and snuggly on my arms, much like Bally on previous night, but then they ATTACKED!!
Was forced to defend myself with sword.
Slaughter ensued, but I was not injured.
In fit of déjà vu, I piled the carcasses and burned them.
Was very proud of myself, until strange men arrived shouting about endangered species and gaol time. Bally grabbed me and we escaped. Bally found
post-slaughter me most attractive, was forced to sheathe sword many times while she watched.
Been told I'm being shipped to Ava in Singapore. So, it's back in the box. Oh no, not the box! Anything but the box!!!
PS: Bally picked up a little Aussie souvenir for Ava which I will gladly pass on to her when I arrive in Singapore. I say again, when I arrive in Singapore……